Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Sembreak

Natutuwa talaga akong mabalitaan kung kumusta na ang ibang mga ka-klase at friends ko sa college, like Karen, she had been training in India, while Marc had been in US for some new system implementation and training. Oths with his band won the best band of the year in their company, Juls have been very proficient and reliable in his department as an electronics engineer, Jaime is about to become a Software Engineer, a position higher from the position I once have (Junior Software Engr… wow!), and Dense from what I have heard is training to become a flight attendant (no argument bout that though…)

So with all of their success and all, I get to think… am I going down the right path…? Or am I just keeping my self well… inferior…?

Right now I’m on sembreak, so basically I’m a bum… the only thing that is keeping me busy is the review sessions I am having with my students who are to embark on Siemen’s PLC Programming contest next month November… and the DOTA wars I get to play every night 9pm up to umn… 1:00am? (no wonder I always ends up like a slug a have a hard time waking up every morning…!)

yeah… I’m an instructor indeed, but the one who is utterly a novice, I even haven’t started pursuing my masters yet, and sadly don’t even have a plan of doing so… MFI’s 60 hour courses like hmn… Cellphone repair are inviting, I might enjoy learning more of the practical stuffs than to pursue another level in my education i.e. my masters… kasi in the back of my head, I’m still thinking of having a job on the field…and not just stay in the academe all my career life…

Pakiramdam ko talaga e, nagpapaikot-ikot na lang ang mga inferiorities ko like my pursuit for a challenging field work, the last one I had was indeed challenging but unfortunately it have to end (see Salmon Day). So where it left me? Ayoko rin namang isipin na ang trabaho bilang instructor e degrading, kasi hindi! Ang pagiging instructor o teacher ay may mas mataas na level sa iba pang trabaho, dahil ang isang guro ang umuukit ng future ng susunod na society…! (nice…)

Ilang beses ko nang narinig yung words (not word by word though) na…
“a teacher affects eternity, no one can tell where his/her influence ends…”

But still I can’t find my self to be a best of my field… nandun na rin siguro yung pagkabaguhan ko sa pagtuturo…. Pero I guess its more of the financial and self fulfillment issue…

Pano ko ba na-appreciate ang pagtuturo?

Well… we are looked upon by our students to be a superior on topics we teach, sometimes overrated pa nga… the nostalgic feeling of staying young because everyone around you is young (hmn… is that a positive or negative?)… you get to enjoy the basketball games, the culinary meals, and other college activities and stuffs (like the contests and exhibits, even field trips yay!)… and most of all… the fact that you are making others realize their dream and reach for it =)

Nonetheless, this still might be my last sem, for teaching… by summer, meron man o walang available na work… iiwan ko muna ang pagtuturo at maghahanap ng mas malagong field experience… hindi lang dahil sa… well financial, kundi para na rin sa self fulfillment… yes such strong word self-fulfillment is… gusto ko pag balik ko sa aking teaching career, I cannot just inspire… I cannot just make my students realize their full potentials, I want them to really learn more from me… grow on me… and I cannot do that until I’m well… career fulfilled my self…

Niweys, I’m looking forward for this upcoming sem… where I can learn more of myself, enjoy everything that there is in my grasp, and teach more than I know =) kahit ako ang proficiency ko e sakto lang… haaayyy… siguro kung ang mga topnotch students natin ang mga magiging instructor ng ating mga institusyon… e di sana mas malupit ang ating mga estudyante, at I’m sure mas magiging mataas ang quality ng education… pero I guess sa ngayon mas mabigat pa rin ang passion, ang puso ng ating ginagawa dahil kung meron tayo nun… I guess other things will indeed follow =) yeah!

Friday, October 21, 2005

Grade Two

So yun nga tapos na tayo ng grade one… I had the taste of my first summer vacation and wow ang saya! Muling bumalik sa dati ang buhay ko, I mean yung tipong wala kang ginagawa the whole morning, piko, tumbang preso, batuhang bola, taguang pong, lupit! At siguro kung iisipin, malaki ang pasalamat ko sa mga magulang ko na dumaan ako sa paglalaro at pangungulit sa kanila, dati kasi wala akong pakialam dun, pero nung medyo nagbinata na ako dun ko naunawaan na di lahat ng bata e dumadaan sa pagkabata… (nice senti hehe).

Yun lang hindi ko maintindihan nung bata pa ako kung bakit kailangang matulog tuwing tanghali, kailangan ba talaga yun? Para lumaki daw agad… nah, basta ako ang ginagawa ko nun e, inilalamutak ko yung muka ko sa unan ng mga 15 minutes, pag katapos kong ikuskos ang muka ko sa unan for 15 minutes, muka na akong bagong gising… (Pero ngaung medyo matanda na di ko naman maintindihan kung bakit twing tanghali e ang sarap matulog… sheeesh, dapat pala itinulog ko na lahat ng tulog ko nung bata pa ako…)

Nung mga panahong din yun ako na-addict sa family computer, yung Nintendo? Lupit nun! Ang games pa lang non e Super Mario, Contra Rambo, Adventure Island, Twin Bee among the others! Madalas laruin yung twin bee o kaya Contra Rambo kasi nga dalawahan, pero all time favorite non yung Mario! Marami ring addict nun sa Pacman pero ewan ko di ko masyadong naappreciate e, yun yng tipong twing hapon e pupunta ako sa palaruan sa may kanto sa amin, ok na sa akin ang makapanood ng mga naglalaro, Makita ko lang yung matingkad na color ng games, happy na ako nun! Medyo badtrip nga lang marinig na may mga estudyante ngaun, na nag-cu-cutting pa para lang mag laro ng counter strike, o ng mga lan games, pero mas bad trip yung mga computeran na nagpapalaro sa mga batang nag-cutting… (palagay ko ang problema dun e, hindi kasi makita ng mga bata kung saan ba nila gagamitin yung mga bagay na natututunan nila sa pag aaral sa school, hindi siguro katamaran o bunga ng walang maliw na katangahan yun, e putek! nga yung ibang nakikita kong bata kabisado ang napakaraming codes sa counterstrike, yung gl_spriteblend 0 cl_movespeed 32000 lahat!!! As in! e mahigit dalawampu ata yon… pero tanungin mo kung ano yung 3 times 3 yay! tapos! Pero bago pa maging thesis material ng evils ng computer games ang article na to, simple lang naman yan, ang computer games e libangan lang, pampalipas oras, pagaaksaya ng panahon kung marami ka nito… hindi ito ginagawang tanang buhay… kasi for all we know computer games are just a form of fantasy, at kailangang mabuhay tayo sa tunay na mundo paminsan minsan…)

Kung meron akong first first crush palagay ko yun yung apo nung may-ari ng computeran na madalas kong tambayan, as in madalas kong tambayan! For a fact kasi pumupunta lang ako dun para mag miron, magturo sa ilang mga newbies kung ano ang lalaruin, ano yung secret ng ganito ganyan… (remember the walang kamatayang 30 lives sa contra? up up down down left right left right a b a b select (kung two players) start) so nung tinuruan ko sya ng up up down down left right left right a b a b select (kung two players) start, I was over her shoulders and wwwooooww… nung lang ako nakalanghap ng mabangong buhok ng babae… so kung merong lagi akong tuturuan, gusto ko sya lagi =) mababaw lang kasi naman dapat ang mga bata diba? Hehe…

Ang di ko lang siguro na enjoy nung mga panahon na yun e, wala ako laging pera… (nuff said)

Di nagtagal e naririnig na sa tv ang commercial ng National Bookstore… ayun na! back to school na ulit! Iniimagine ko na yung twing umaga e nasa school ako at nagbabasa, tapos mag-o-one plus one ulit, o kaya multiplication o kaya science o kaya English… bagong gamit! Yay! Sarap talaga pag ang bahay nyo e amoy pabrika ng school supplies, and again I thank my parents for that… pagnanghihingi ako ng pera pambili ng espadang may suksukan e hindi ako napagbigyan ng nanay ko… (“ma hindi na ako hihingi ng pera habambuhay, bigyan nyo lang po ako ng 12 pesos” buti na lang di pinatulan ng nanay ko yung banat na yun ha! ha! =))

Eto na nga June na!!! fooom! pasukan na ang saya… muli ko nanamang nakita yung mga classmates kong magagaling sa kagaguhan… hindi akong magulong estudyante sa ilalim ni Ma’am Villaverde pero naaaliw akong makitang naguguluhan sya sa amin… section 2 ako ulit, as if I care naman…

Natatandaan mo ba yung itsura ng mga upuan ng gradeschool? Sila yung mga mahahaba na upuan, table ng likurang desk yung unang desk, tapos patungan naman ng bag ng mga nasa harapan ang silya sa unahan nila. Pagganon ang silya masarap maupo sa unahan libreng lalagyan ng silya at di pa masikip =)

Kung merong akong natatandaan sa pagupo sa harapan e yun yung ka-klase kong fan ng “thundercats” natatandaan nyo pa ba yun? Yun yung cartoons kung saan ang bidang character e mayroong espadang katulad ng kay panday… humahaba… so basically ang nangyayari e yung may-ari ng espada e sisigaw ng “thunder thunder thunder WOOOHHH!~~!” and viola ang kaninang kutsilyo e magiging espada. Yung classmate kong yun e walang dalang espada… at wala din syang dalang kutsilyo, lalaki yung classmate ko, ano ba sa lalaki ang humahaba…? Gago talaga yung classmate kong yun, dun ko rin napagtanto ang tinatawag na “erection”. Ibang klase talaga ang innocence noon, wala pa kasing internet… =) pero given ngaun, at noon it would be safe to assume na by this time ang classmate kong yun e may asawa na, at least may makakaappreciate na ng kanyang “thundercats”

Wala namang masyadong pinagkaiba ang grade two sa grade one, noong ako ang nakaupo dun sa silya na yun, pareho pa rin ang bisyo ko, ang mag-intay ng uwian, at maging lost sa mga gagawin… lagi kong binabasa yung schedule ng teacher ko, at hanggang ngayon e natatawa akong imagining na ang recess namin e 10minutes lang… =)

Di ko sigurado kung ano nga bang pinaggagawa talaga nung grade two, siguro mas mahaba lang yung pinapabasa na words, yung science ganun pa rin… filipino ganun din… math ganun din… wala medyo vogue talaga e, malamang busy ako nun, busy matulog…

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

3 Lies

this is from my beloved second mentor to the corporate world...
langya sabi na e! it is bound to happen!!!


3 Lies

1. hindi ako galit.
2. this is nonfat.
3. i'm ok.


salmon day! salmon day! yaaaaarrrgghh!
niweys pag oras mo na, oras mo na :)

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Teacher! Teacher!

At least sumusulat na ulit ang panda ballpen ko.

Ang gara a! miraculously gumagana na ang hinayupak na ballpen ko, ang bilis ng panahon we are now on our third step sa ina-aaplyan ko… magtuloy tuloy naman sana. Ano kaya ang mayroon dun?

Ewan ko ba… pag iniisip ko na meron pang four more absences na kailangan kong I-take, nahihiya ako sa Department Head namin, pero sabi naman nung nakasabay ko last time si cesar… “ Nandun ba ang OPPORTUNITY”

San nga ba ang opportunity? San nga ba ang calling?

Buong week halos hindi ako nagprepare ng exams and everything seems to be turning inside out of me, pero eto yun e… its not that I can’t help it… its just that, im… geez… unmotivated, in other words… im lazy…

Being lazy… Unmotivated…

“where was the promise of more soul?” when all we are doing is finding fault in our work? Hindi tayo makakapaginspire nyan kung tayo mismo ay nag-aalinlangan…

Teachers are people too…
….aaah, yes they are…

Sa loob ng classroom hindi nakikita ng mga estudyante na ang mga teachers ay nagpe-perform din, pinaghahandaan ang bawat lessons, constantly learning new stuffs to add up to what they already know, para pag hand down ng knowledge sa estudyante may bonus… may dagdag… unless the teacher is trying to make it easy for hisself…

…making it easy for oneself…

Hindi madali ang pagiging teacher… iba ibang tao sa araw araw, minsan tinatamad na rin silang umunawa… sa classroom sino ba ang nasa offending at defending ends…?

Iniisip ko kung ano ang dapat na malaman ng estudyante ko para sa board-exams, ano ang dapat nakahanda at ihanda ng estudyante ko para makita nila ang nangyayari sa equations, makita nila ang concept ng mga sciences… ano ba ang itsura ng magnetic field? Ng bit and baud? Ng Graham’s Law of diffusion… commutation… GAH! Nakikita ba nila yun o mas hinihintay nila yung “any questions? If there is none, and your through copying, you are free to go…”

Free to go…

I wonder if teachers are suppose to feel glad ‘bout the downside of teaching… you’ll have to see your students climbing the stairs you set for them then they will soon forget you… and if they get lucky, you might wonder if you will be able to do the same and do the big thing they have done if you were on the same situation. If your student failed, could you have helped avoiding it, baka may nakalimutan kang ituro… nagkulang kang maka-inspire…

Ang galing! Your success as a teacher is a downside of an egocentric self (of course I know that’s also a proof of your teaching effectivity…)

But a failure of a student is a failure of the teacher as well…

Perks ng pagiging teacher… I guess I’m something looking at it the wrong way… there is a need to inspire and set as an example and not just throw endless theoretics…

I wonder if I’m inspiring…

I guess that’s one of improbable mathematical equations that can only be answered by trial an error… =)

Minsan kasi napakahirap bitawan ng mga katagang “bakit nga kaya?” at “hindi ko rin alam” lalo na kung ang estudyante mo e ang tingin sa mga teachers ay “mindless know alls” ha! ha! Pano ba ulit yun?!?

On the end of the day you’ll be glad to hear (if to any consolation that your student became considerate and sensible to your real life shortcomings)

“sir / ma’ am thank you po ulit” =)

Marinig mo lang yun ok na… hindi na mahalaga kung sa likod nun e… kung ang kadikit ba nun e… “uto – uto”
Or the worst language with the colorful words =( “tanga… bobo magturo”)

Ang mga teachers ay tao rin… they enjoy a happy company, recognition, respect and being loved… may it be friendly, parental or amorous…

Naniniwala ako most of teachers don’t teach for money… though they know, they need it =)

“Class walang yumayaman ng madali sa pamamasukan”
“E sir ba’t po kayo namamasukan at nagtuturo???”

There are countless positive ways to answer that rhetorical question, pero siempre… malamang mauna ang nasa puso talaga ng teacher… malamang yung iba nga di pa agad makasagot…

Pero nakikita ba yun ng estudyante??! I doubt it… (guilty rin ako noon e ha! ha!) pero ok lang hindi na rin naman nila kailangang malaman… dahil sa classoom hindi ang teacher ang main character, kungdi yung conflict, plot or minsan ang villain…

Pero ang mga students… yep! Sila! Sila ang bida…

Sunday, July 31, 2005

eom

bakit ba ang tanong lagi ng mga nagpapasweet sa ibang person e "kumain ka na ba?!?"
ever heard someone sa gf or bf nya na nagtanong "naligo ka na ba?!?"

meron na ata akong narinig na ganun... wala lang... :)

Monday, July 25, 2005

eom

pag ba sinabi na "nagpagulpi ako" ano ba ibig sabihin nun? nagulpi yung nagsabi o meron syang pinagulping ibang tao? hmnnn?!?

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Grade OnE

Wow its batam-bata! (July 09 2005)

So yun nga yung kindergarten diba? Narealize ko na papasok na pala ako ng elementary nung na-experience ko ang pakikipagbuno namin ni mama sa gitna rin ng maraming mga nanay, ang dame! ang naririnig ko laging salita ng mga sandaling yun e “birth certificate” birth certificate! birth certificate! maswerte pa rin pala ako nun kasi, at least naiparehistro pala ako ni mama kahit na hilot lang daw ako nilabor… ( niweys siguro gusto lang din talaga ni mama ng certificate sa pagaanak sa akin dahil ayon sa kanya e tatlong araw ako nilabor, imagine?! dapat November 30 ang birthday ko pero naging December 03! ang lufet! diba??! )

Wala talaga akong pakialam nung grade one… pilot section daw ako, section one ng panghapon… pinakamatatalino daw ng pang hapon?!? oo nga e, san kaya nila binase yun? siguro kasi nung kinder ako may award ako, “Best in Matiyaga” hehe, shucks mag ka-award lang… (pero ewan ko ha?! hayop na coincidence yan, halos lahat ng mga nakikilala ko ngaun e 1st honor daw sila ng kinder!!!) Grade one yes… sisiw na sisiw sa akin yung grade one yung basa basa ng “aba” “bao” “tao” “kuto” wala sa akin yun! master ko na yun kasi pag nasa bahay kami at tinuturuan akong magbasa, palo ang katumbas ng bawat letra na hindi ko mabasa, looking it back now… yun din siguro kung bakit tinatamad akong mag-aral, napag dikit ko kasi yung word na palo at basa… kaya obedient akong estudyante kahit hindi ako interesado, (hmm dapat ata mag take na rin ako ng psychology :) ) Tuwang tuwa ako sa grade one bukod sa pencil case kong maraming pasikot sikot at mababangong plastic envelop, art papers at kokomban, e dun sa mga snacks na pinagbibili sa labas, yung hotdog sandwich na nakadila lang sa dulo ng tinapay ang mga hotdog at nagdurugo sa ketchup, yung ibat bang flavors ng zesto at sun glo, yung ays crambol saka yung malalaking tinapay na hugis isda at buwaya, piso lang sila noon, at lintek naman sa laki! pang limang bata ata yun…

Marami rin akong katanungan nung bata pa ako, hindi ko lang matanong si Miss Alfonso nuon kasi masungit sya, pinapatayo nya yung mga classmates kong hindi nakakapagbasa ng matagal na matagal! ganun din yung ginagawa nya sa mga classmates kong di makasagot ng one plus one, sa totoo lang weirdong weirdo ako sa mga setup namin nun! bakit ang mga salita na babasahin namin e, nasa mga prutas na papel na nasa basket na papel din at kailangan pang pitasin, ibat ibang prutas daw yun pero lahat naman sila e mukang manggang iba’t iba ang kulay. tapos twing magbabasa kami bakit kailangan sabay sabay, bakit kami nang pa-pray oras-oras? bakit ang ikli lang ng recess? bakit ang sungit ni ma’am! sa sobrang sungit ni ma’am may classmate talaga akong tumae sa silya nya!

Hindi ko rin naman masisisi yung classmate ko na yun, maari rin naman na natae sya hindi lang dahil takot kay Miss Alfonso kundi, hindi sya matae sa palikuran. niccceeeee palikuran hehe, ano ba ang itsura ng ancient palikuran namin… hmmm, imaginin mo, dalawang dibisyon lang sya, magkatabi yung mga babae at lalaki, (lam mo napaka gentlemen ng mga bata sa amin nung elementary kasi kahit kailan hindi ako nakarinig ng kwentong nanilip ang mga lalaki sa cr ng mga babae, ako hindi ako nanilip kahit kailan kasi yun daw ay masama… ano nakakatawa dun tama naman a…) walang pinto ang magkabilang palikuran, ang ihian ng mga lalaki e mga butas butas sa sahig na deretsong kanal, walang pusali nuon! kaya imaginin mo ang panghe! walang lalaking nakakaihi sa dulo ng cr, kasi pipigilin mo diba ang pag hinga mo, papasok ka sa loob, pigil pigil ang paghinga hanggang makalabas, kung sa dulo ka iihi, hindi ka makakalabas ng hindi humihinga, sigurado mahihilo ka, kung gusto mong I-dare ang sarili mo at umihi sa dulo kailangan may kasama ka na malakas din ang loob, at least kung sakaling mahilo ka, dalawa kayo… so ako kasama ng ibang bata sa pinto lang kami umiihi, nakikita ng mga babae ang mga patutoy namin pero “who cares!” hindi ko alam kung ano ang itsura ng cr ng mga babae kasi kahit kailan hindi nga ako sumilip dun diba? kasi nga masama!

Grade one ko rin unang na-experience ang grade card… kasi hindi ko kahit kailan nakita o napansin man lang na may grade card kami nung kinder, pero nung grade one evident talaga! noon meron lang apat na subjects, science, math, filipino, at saka english. lahat ng grades ko nung grade one puro palakol! line of seven talaga! looking back, hindi naman ako nakaramdam ng katiting na hirap sa grade one, siguro nga kasi e, wala akong pakialam. basta ang mahalaga e may baon ako. uuwi pag hapon na, at maglalaro sa matitirang oras.

Nung Grade one ko rin unang naexperience ang kaligayahan ng class suspension, at ang hirap pag minalas na hindi nasuspindi ang klase. ang makipagbuno sa ulan at mag pray na sana bukas ay suspindido ang klase kahit umaambon lang. maiimagine mo siguro ang kaligayahan ko nun pag nasuspinde ang klase dahil sa malakas na ulan at hangin sa umaga pero biglang himalang sisilay ang araw sa hapon, maputik nga lang maglaro pero ano ba?!!

Nung Grade One din ako unang naging aware sa big news tulad ng "Summer is Here!" :) ahhh yesh~~ ~ halos lahat ng bata ay maligaya sa pagdating ng summer, bakit naman hindi?! panahon yun ng ice candy, at maghapong taguan pong, tantaret, tumbang preso at batuhang bola. bayani ako ng batuhang bola nun! ibang klase daw kasi ang reflexes ko hehe! kung big news ng Grade One ang "Summer is Here" bangungot naman ang "Back to School" pero ok lang at least may bagong schools stuffs hehe! Rak and Rol!

Monday, June 27, 2005

eom

Pag pala ang isang wafer stick e longer ng at least 15% sa kanyang counterparts it can be automatically categorized as Suuuuuper long !?!

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Joys of Being Broke

I actually wrote this when quite long ago May 10, 2005, to be exact... so some stuffs might be different... nothing changed much for the "broke" part though :))

As if there are =))
When I was a child, being broke don’t make freaking bruises and wounds to my ego, but things are sure are different when you’re 23 and you are suppose to be earning 40% of the family’s income.

So here I am jobless, waiting and taking shots to reach out for a new career, practically broke. well life is sure is simple and that is one of that I guess =)

Well another thing, when you are broke, what you problem is quite basic or was that a downside since even basic problems you make deal with, anyway that is that especially when you have a quite supportive family… well I’m thankful they don’t nag me for losing the job, they are even making it easier for me…

“ok lang yan kuya, ganyan talaga…”

I even remember our youngest telling me, when I even promised her to finance her education.

~~ hay~~~

Well anyway again, so twing araw e madalas nakikipagkwentuhan ako sa mga tambaysa harap ng bahay namin… napansin kong may pagkamali-mali ako, mautal, at parang bumagal ang mental response… so yun nga!!! merong space for self-assessment… I haven’t checked on it for a while, I guess I must perform more of these communication thingies as well.

There are more time for creativity biruin mo naman most of my waking hours… I spend drawing and writing, and it sure feels good for the confidence…

There are lot of time for animes! and other hobbies! (Daming free hours for free stuffs!) biruin mo yun ang ligaya! mula 2:00pm hanggang 7:00 o clock!!! anime! ang lupit!

So yun din for free time… nabibisita ko ang ilan sa mga ka-tropa ko nung college nagkakaroon ng social life kung baga… basta ba libre e hehe…

But I guess what I always ask myself whenever I have the time is what business can we venture in, what can be most rewarding? writing kaya? hmmmhmmm, direct selling? MLM? haha!?? 

Where can these elusive path leads?!?

Tama na nga tong kalokohan na to! Hanap na nga ulit ng trabaho!

Forget Her!


by: Rexcelsior Moran IV – Justice SJA
(circa 1997)

I never paid any attention to this poem when I was on my high school years, pero nung naranasan ko na yung pait, darn can I relate or what! I hope Rexcelsior dont find me rude for posting his/her poem



Forget her name, forget her face
Forget her kiss, and warm embrace
Forget her love that once was true
Remember now that there’s someone new

Forget the love that once you shared
Forget the fact that she once cared
Forget the times you’ve spent together
Remember now that she is gone forever

Forget she cried the whole night long
Forget her when you played your song
Forget how close you two have been
Remember now she’d chosen him

Forget the night when you first met
Forget this moment that you won’t let
Forget the times you were together
Remember now she’s with another

Forget you memorized her walk
Forget the way she used to talk
Forget the times when she was mad
Remember now she’s happy not sad

Forget the times you used to see her
Forget it now you’re just a dreamer
Forget before those sweet ba-byes
Remember now its real good byes!

Forget the time when she once phoned you
Forget those words that she once told you
Forget your dream that you’re for one another
Remember now you’re more than a brother

Forget the times when she passed by
Forget the times she made you cry
Forget the way she spoke your name
Remember now things aren’t the same

Forget you thought of her everyday
Forget those words that you can’t say
Forget the hurt that you now bear
Remember life is just not fair

Forget the time that went so fast
Forget them all they are just the fast
Forget the dreams that can’t come true
Forget her now, for she has forgotten you…

Saturday, June 18, 2005

From The Start by Rachelle Ann Go

Endless, well be together always
And i will hold forever
This love that we have come to know
Well always stay in love this say
Until forever and a day
And i will never ever change
Cause you are all my eyes can see
Its everlasting

Bridge:

Promise that youll always love me
That i will be your one and only
And that youll hold me til eternity

Refrain:

Say youll keep me in your heart
Promise me, well never part
I can only love you so much more
Cause you are all im living for
And the only thing id do
Is to give my love to you
And forever youll be in my heart
The way ive always loved you from the start


Hold me like youve never done before
Let me dream away my life
Let me spend this night away
Until its morning love me say
Youll never leave me
Even if tomorrow
There will be no more sun to shine
Youre all that matters

(repeat bridge)
(repeat refrain 2x)

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Tell Me Where It Hurts by MYMP

I just love this song... so full and loving :)

Why is that sad look in your eyes
Why are you crying?
Tell me now, tell me now
Tell me, why you're feelin' this way
I hate to see you so down, oh baby!

Is it your heart
Oh, that's breakin' all in pieces
Makin' you cry
Makin' you feel blue
Is there anything that I can do

CHORUS:
Why don't you tell me where it hurts now, baby
And I'll do my best to make it better
Yes, I'll do my best to make the tears all go away
Just tell me where it hurts
Now, tell me
And I love you with a love so tender
Oh and if you let me stay
I'll love all of the hurt away

Where are all those tears coming from
Why are they falling?
somebody, somebody, somebody leave your heart in the cold
You just need somebody to hold on, baby
(Give me a chance)
To put back all the pieces
Take hold of your heart
Make it just like new
There's so many things that I can do

chorus

(Instrumental)

Is it your heart
Oh, that's breakin' all in pieces
Makin' you cry
Makin' you feel blue
Is there anything that I can do

CHORUS:

Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me baby
Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me
And I'll do my best to make it better
Yes, I'll do my best to make the tears all go away
Just tell me where it hurts
Now, tell me
And I love you with a love so tender
Oh, and if you let me stay
I'll love all of the hurt away

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

I know by Yasmien Kurdi

I don't need to own a fancy car
To drive with you around the city
I don't need to live in a palace like house
A simple home is enough for me
I don't need much
Only your attention
I had to hope
To make me feel that i am not alone

I know
Is you my life is worth living
I know
Is you my life is gonna be just fine
I know
If you each day begins with a smile

I don't really have to worry
Somethings won't workout for me
I don't really have to bother
Just as long as you here with me
I don't need much
Only your affection
To see me through
To make me feel that i am not alone

I know
Together we can make our dreams come true
I know
But through the years we won't be growing old
I know
Counting stars won't be so hard to do

There will be your always time
At the end of the tumble shine
Our love for each other never fails
Baby i just know(i know)
I know(i know)
I know... wooahh..
I know(i know)
I know(i know)
Wooahh...

I don't need much
Only your affection
To see me through
To make me feel that i am not alone

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Lesson on Procastination

i had this conversation one time, and its quite interesting that some lessons in life spawn when you least expect it, and i mean least expect it... but then again maybe i' m just exaggerating. :)

dennis ece1: bat nman profanity?
gerrycho: nice naman binabalik...
gerrycho: hehe
dennis ece1:
gerrycho: ako n lang mag kukwento pre
gerrycho: makinig ka nang mabuti...
dennis ece1: ang tahitahimik ko
dennis ece1: cnasabihan mko ng ganyan
dennis ece1: cge
gerrycho: kaninang umaga tol jebs na jebs ako!
gerrycho:
dennis ece1: buti kpa
gerrycho: o gusto mong marinig ang susunod na part...
dennis ece1: gus2 krin yan e
gerrycho: nyeh...
dennis ece1: nahihirapan ako jomebs e
dennis ece1: kpag asa house ako
gerrycho: so dahil sa hindi ako makapagconcetrate dahil parang umiikot ang pwet ko sa jebs e nag pasya akong gawin ang nararapat...
gerrycho: oi...
gerrycho: nandyan ka pa?
dennis ece1: cge lng
gerrycho: kumuha ako ng anim na table napkins sa pantry...
gerrycho: tapos gri-noup ko sa tatlo, bale daladalawa bawat group...
dennis ece1: ngaiks matigas kaya ung tissue n un
gerrycho: binasa ko lahat ng tissues tapos yung isa nilagayan ko ng sabon...
gerrycho: kaya nga binasa ko e...
dennis ece1: k
gerrycho: so everything is turning out fine as im doing my business...
gerrycho: walang tao sa cr e...
dennis ece1:
gerrycho: eto na linisan na...
gerrycho: kumuha muna ako ng bathroom tissue, kasi marami pang jebs e...
gerrycho: hehe...
gerrycho: oi na vi-visualise mo ba?
dennis ece1:
gerrycho: so ayun napunas ko na yung maraming jebs...
gerrycho: sinunod ko na yung unang basang tissue...
dennis ece1: ambaho mna gerbs
gerrycho: hus
gerrycho: mataka ka kung mabango yung jebs...
gerrycho: ~~~~~~
gerrycho: ayos, sinunod ko na yung may sabon...
gerrycho: rub rub rub rub rub rub
dennis ece1: dpat bumili k ng sanitiser para ipunas mo next tym pang final lng b
dennis ece1: tpos
gerrycho: tapos yung pang banlaw....
gerrycho: ayos na!
gerrycho: nakaraos pre...
dennis ece1: hehehe
dennis ece1: oks lng yan
dennis ece1: madami gumagawa nyan
gerrycho: so im pressed the flush.. pre... and suddenly i realised parang ang dami nang lamang nung bowl...
gerrycho: to my surprise HINDI BUMABA yung water ng bowl!!!
dennis ece1: gus2 ko nagring jomebs ng madami e
dennis ece1: ako parang prating bitin
gerrycho: so i felt that it was like college... when u are naked and the bowl don't seem to sink...
dennis ece1: ders somthing wrong w my system
dennis ece1: hahaha
dennis ece1: naalala ko yan
gerrycho: hindi mo naman nauunawaan yung gravity ng situation pre e...
gerrycho: na-agitate ka agad ang aking curiosity, pri-ness ko ulit yung flush to force everything inside...
gerrycho: and guess what happened!!!
dennis ece1: overflow?
gerrycho: SYET pre!
gerrycho: umapaw yung water pre!!!
dennis ece1: hahahaha
gerrycho: so i was shocked
dennis ece1: e d nbsa ka?
dennis ece1: yuck
gerrycho: i'm trying to find the answer "is this still college???"
gerrycho: sa college lang nangyayari to ah!
dennis ece1: hehehe
dennis ece1: dejavu b
dennis ece1: bka nman tinapon mo ung gnmit mo s bowl/
gerrycho: so im on the middle of my reminiscing the collegiate past when the door i heard that the door opened!!!
gerrycho: THE FREAKIN DOOR OPENED dense!!!
gerrycho: i imagine everyone laughing at me... i imagine losing my job and be a tambay for the rest of my life...
gerrycho: pero siempre exaggarated na yun...
gerrycho: naisip ko ang mas tamang gawin...
gerrycho: kailangang buamaba ang jebs ko...
dennis ece1: ano kba
dennis ece1:
gerrycho: nag concentrate ako... puedeng tanggalin ko muna yung mga tissues, para bumaba yung jebs... pero wala akong panungkit...
dennis ece1: bat m kse tintpon s bowl
dennis ece1: bawal un dong
dennis ece1: kya ngcclog
gerrycho: siempre katarantaduhan naman kung kakamayin ko yung syet!
dennis ece1: ika nga rip wa u saw
dennis ece1: hehehe
gerrycho: san kaya itatapon yun e wala namang trash bin sa dun sa cubicle...
gerrycho: wala na akong choice...
gerrycho: alam mo ginawa ko dense....
dennis ece1: ano
gerrycho: tinakpan ko yung bowl...
gerrycho: nung cover... tapos tinungtong ko yung isa kong paa... tapos nagconcentrate....
gerrycho: hmmmmmmmmm
gerrycho: "this will going to be remembered for all my life... " sa isip isip ko...
dennis ece1:
gerrycho: binukasn ko ulit yung cover
gerrycho: bumaba na yung water level!!!
gerrycho: i was relieved like i was never relieved before
gerrycho: parang nakajebs ako sa loob ng mahabang panahon!!!
gerrycho: bumaba ang water level...
gerrycho: pli-nush ko ulit
gerrycho: bumaba ulit !!!
gerrycho: sumusunod na yung water level much like a hot oiled hair na sumusunod sa galaw mo...
gerrycho: isa pang flush and the bowl is now as fresh as if no one ever used the bowl before...
gerrycho: ayosss...
gerrycho: after that
gerrycho: i immediately flee... na parang walang nagawang kasalanan
dennis ece1:
dennis ece1:
dennis ece1:
gerrycho: but no one knows that i have even reached to my deepest soul
gerrycho: i have reached to reminisce even the freakin clogged bowls of my alma mater...
dennis ece1: nakakatawa k nmang mgkwen2
gerrycho: and i swear na hindi ko papabayaang mapuno ang bowl
gerrycho: mag flu-flush ako nng mag fu-flush next time para pauniti unti bumaba ang water level
gerrycho: and thats about the same when it goes to procastination
dennis ece1: u made a ludicrous impression
dennis ece1: hehehehe
gerrycho: when u procastinate with things,
gerrycho: evrthing tends to turn out ugly, and not to mention smelly...
gerrycho: o ha!
dennis ece1: and dats wat we call GREAT JOB
dennis ece1: hehehhe
gerrycho: sa ngaun hindi ko alam kung kumusta na yung cr, i would like to urinate but i guess ill keep this in until after lunch
dennis ece1: hahaha
gerrycho: kung kailan nakapaglinis na ulit ang mga maintenance persons at wala na ang bakas ng nakaraan
dennis ece1: kng malapit klang d2 invite sana kta magmass
dennis ece1: s my RCBC lng
gerrycho: pero nonetheless ill remember the past with a smile on my face a great lesson learned
gerrycho: as much as possible don't PROCASTINATE...
gerrycho: san ba yung RCBC?
dennis ece1: near GT
dennis ece1: dali punta kna d2
dennis ece1: tpos d2 kna mglunch
dennis ece1: gogogogo
dennis ece1: gerbs
dennis ece1: my baon din ako
gerrycho: nah
gerrycho: ang layo
gerrycho: kaya mo na yan dense...
dennis ece1: cge

Friday, May 27, 2005

God Speaks...

i really like these forwarded messages of God Speaks... di ko lang sure kung blasphemous to, but i guess if its effect is good there's no harm on it...


"What do I have to do to get your attention?
Take out an ad in the paper?"
-God


"Earthlings, don't treat me like an alien."
-God


"How can you possibly be a self-made man?
I specifically recall creating you."
-God

"You think it's hot here?"
-God


"Could you imagine the price of air
if it were brought to you by another supplier?"
-God


"Will the road you're on get you to my place?"
-God


"Need directions?"
-God


"Please don't drink and drive,
you're not quite ready to meet me yet."
-God


"I think you're the most beautiful person in the world.
Okay, so I'm biased."
-God


"Follow me."
-God


"Don't forget your umbrella,
I might water the plants today."
-God


"We need to talk."
-God

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Tama at Mali

Alam ko na ang sikreto ng maayos na buhay...!

gawin mo ang tama...
wag mong gawin ang mali...

kung sakaling nakagawa ka ng mali, itama mo ito at tanggapin ang kaparusahan sa pagkakamali...

hindi lahat ng gusto natin ay tama,
at hindi rin naman lahat ng ayaw natin ay mali

pero kung ang mali ay makakapagpalimot at makakabuti sa ilan o maraming marami... masasabi bang tama ito?

pano naman kung ang tama ay makakasakit ng ilan o marami masasabi bang mali ito?

sa lahat ba ng oras ang mali ay nakakasama?
at sa lahat din ba ng oras ang tama ay nakakabuti?

sino bang ang magsasabi ng tama at mali?

pero sigurado ako ang tama ay ginagawang mali
at ang mali ay napag mumukang tama...

sa mundo kung saan ang mga bagay ay hindi patas... tama ba na maging tama sa lahat ng oras? paano kung ginawan ka ng mali? paano ka ba gaganti ng tama?

wouuu!

simple lang ang buhay...

gawin mo ang tama...
wag mong gawin ang mali... :)

Monday, May 16, 2005

Salmon Day

And once again I’m on the verge of the greatest adventure of my life… I’ m once again jobless… and I’m to search for a new career.

The feeling comes closest to what I once felt when I failed (well almost…) Strength of Materials. I was not expecting that my instructor will have the nerve of failing any of us… but by the end of the sem. He needed sacrificial lambs, at dahil sa mababa ang grade ko nun, ayun ako ang isa sa mga maswerteng student number na nakasulat sa memo sa bulletin board ng Civil Engineering Department. Ang laboooo! I mean ang dala-dalang ng lectures, isang lecture bawat isang problem, i-take mong tama ang lecture mo, ang pagdating ng exam mapapatunayan mong mali! Minsan pa nga nagdala sya ng isang napakagandang babae sa classroom. Binigyan nya kami ng “challenging” na tanong, nakasulat sa board ang question at ang mga diagram… wow the diagrams! They were elaborately drawn by one of my classmates. While he and the girl were having the tutorial. After an hour, dahil sa akala ko e magaling ako, nagpasa ako ng sagot. Just to hear that …

“Hindi nyo masasagot yan…! Topic natin yan next meeting…”

So yun nga… hindi naman masasabi na nagpabaya ako… I prepared board works to augment my failing grades, but I was not the only one who was failing. My friends (well we were five of the closest buddies) were failing as well. There were lot of us failing we looked like hail storms.

So yun, the board works… yung mga board works na prepared ko e, pinamimigay ko, tumatama naman, given that fact, I’ m confident that I will somehow pass the required exams… tumatama diba yung board works?!! I even had the guts to give other some of my classmates tutorials!

So the unexpected happened, the make and break final exam… I FAILED! Why??? Because I missed a detail (wow! history sure repeats it self!).

I tried to ask, and appeal to my instructor’s good side, but it seems that I’m not capable of convincing him… and it seems that it was more easier and practical to fail me than giving me another shot. So there he failed me… (history! really repeats it self).

My ego was scratched, soiled and was in pieces. I thought of a fine mitigation plan… good thing, I said to myself it was summer. I can withhold my grades being passed to DOST for 2 full months, borrow good sum of money, get that freaking subject retaken the whole summer and then pass a treated grade by June…! I will not lose my scholarship only incurring a Php 2000 debt. Ayun ang plano, may lusot! Maisasalba ang kinabukasan at sabi ko sa sarili ko…

“I’m better than this…”

At sya rin nga talaga ang gusto kong maging instructor ulit…

So there I was, about to enroll for summer class, nasalubong ko ang friend ko na girl na medyo close sa said instructor. Sinabi ko sa kanya ang balita.

“Mag su-summer ako!”
“Bakit? Advance?”
“Hindi…! Kasi ibinagsak ako ni ___________”
“ANO!”

I don’t know exactly what have happened… or what was the agreement between my friend and that instructor, kase… hindi na ako bagsak. LFE na, or Lack of Final Exam, nabigyan ako ng chance for another examination! I studied like mad for two weeks for that! At lahat ng problems sa Helical Springs sa Besavilla Reviewer na review ko! Pati yung mga mali sa lecture ng Helical Springs namin naitama ko rin. So in other words nagging tres ang grade ko sa Strength.

What ate me back then was the fact that I appealed to my instructor as a needy student, because I was a needy student. He turned me down, without even a second thought. Kung wala din akong mauutangan nung kailangang-kailangan ko, on those crucial moments… malamang Swerte na maging City Service ako…

Pero nung pinakiusapan sya ng mala-diyosa kong kaibigan, ang mabagsik na halimaw ay umamo at iniluwa ako.

“Life is not fair”

Tama nga si Bill Gates.

But there was a lesson for review with what have happened. If I have given my heart and soul for every task I had, chances are it could have been better… If I have realized sooner that my eyes should have looked for details and saw underneath the underneath (wow! naruto! ) It could have been better.

I mean the team can’t stop and wait for me right…

Because we were always busy… the team can’t stop for me who was sooooo left behind. I just have to sprint faster to catch up… in the end… I just once again failed.

I can’t blame anyone if I don’t know something, and I can’t blame anyone if I have understood wrong too. And it boils down to the fact that I should I have not fought the urge to ask questions, even though my conscience says that “they are busy, please try to handle it yourself…”

Well being jobless pays off these past few days, I have lots of free time to once again review electronics, and even more time to watch anime favorites… every Tuesday I can watch Season 4 of Smallville, and just recently I have bought lots of Pugad Baboy to almost complete my once famed collection.

~~ hohummmm~

I guess it will be much much more better if I have with the kind of fulfillment after having to work for them for seven years… it will feel like graduation with your officemates handing you a signed dedication, wishing you all the luck for a new waiting career… but no, I have to leave when I don’t feel like to because… -hah- I was not good enough…

Ngayon, I almost convinced myself that…

“I am not a lesser person”

I know I am capable, willing to learn and all of that… but there was just one problem…
I did not do well enough…

And so on my voyage to find a new career, I know I don’t have to burn bridges because its just not my style, and I hope there were no hurt feelings. Though my ego was bruised, he is coming along gracefully… and once I land to another career, I’ll be whole again… and I will give it more soul, I will give it more of me…

I wonder how my former team mates find me, how will they remember me…

~~ hah~ One is for sure… can’t stay jobless for too long…

Heads up! We are going to our next adventure!

Wooou!

Saturday, May 07, 2005

eom

pano ka ba nakakabawi (ng lakas) kung ang bear brand milk e "sterilized"
what does sterilized milk have to do with recovering your lost strength?

hmmm?

Friday, April 29, 2005

Alab ng Puso...

Artist: Rivermaya
Song: Alab ng puso

Ikay matutumba
Ika'y masasawi
Mabibilangan ka ngunit babangon kang muli

Walang maniniwala
Walang makikinig
Wala na raw pag-asa'ng daigdig mong tagilid
Padadala ka ba sa agos o hindi?

Patay Na Kung Patay
Magka-alaman lang
Lahat ibibigay dahil wala na 'tong atrasan
Pagitingan ng puso ang labanan

Lumuha ka kung hindi mo mapigilan ang tuwa
Matagal kang naghintay kaibigan
Umawit ka
Paabutin mo sa langit ang tamis ng sandaling ibinigay

Tagumpay
Tagumpay
Alab ng puso, kailanma'y hindi sumuko
Tagumpay


[i]"walang bibitaw!!! walang bibitaw!!!"[/i]

*Scratches head

Its feels like winter once again in this place... and im having a hard time when im in this temperature... last night i slept without an electric fan, im just there laid across the top our doubledeck bed... at least its dark and i can imagine cold air brushing through my cheeks and it felt like it...

Ang lameg talaga... pambihira?!!

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naalala ko tuloy nung pumunta kami sa Bagiuo... ang lameg din dun... sobrang lamig, natulog akong nakasuot lahat sa akin, tapos naligo ako nung tanghali na at medyo mataas na ang araw... nasan na kaya yung mga pictures namin dun?

pambihira yung mga classmates ko ng college nun... it felt like that the field trip to Bagiuo is some way to free their inhibitions... parang mga baboy na nakakawala sa kural mwehe!!! hindi naman...

January ng 2003 yun e... so definitely malamig nun sa Bagiuo... ang saya... kahit the half the trip ata natutulog lang ako sa byahe... maliban na lang pag may mga stop overs... ang saya i-reminisce that you have these two days that all you have to do is wait for the food... then go out all through the day para mag-educational field trip... alin yung cable provider na napuntahan namin? sheeshh... we went to padi's point, alberto's, mine's view and queen's nyaks... dapat pupunta kami ng star city pero wag na raw... masyado na raw yun...

actually di ko masyadong maalala yung mga pinaggagawa namin nun...

naalala ko lang e may mga kasama kaming nag-aaway na halos magsuntukan na... pero ng magkasama na sa Queen's e pareho nang masaya... sheeshhh... kakaiba talaga ang epekto pag sober ka na...

Tinatamad akong magkwento.. ang lamig kasi e...

work work

Monday, April 25, 2005

From the Beginning...

Do you have this clear picture of your childhood in your mind that you can never forget? Hmm… ako meron e… I have this clear picture in my mind, when I was in grade 2, I can still imagine myself looking outside the window and seeing the sunrise, I’ m not sure why that memory clearly stands out… wala namang special sa araw na yun, siguro yun yung moment in my childhood that I realized na kailangan kong gumising ng maaga, maligo kahit malamig at pumasok sa school kasi may baon…

Ha! Ha! Siguro kung mayroon tayong mapagku-kwentuhan about our life the whole day and never run a topic about it, I guess that will be school… tamo si Bob Ong naging best seller pa nga ang book nya about his adventure and gradeschool exploits… di nakakasawa i-reminisce hindi nakakasawa alalahanin. Those were the days, kung san ang araw-araw ay paikot ikot lang, ang gabi e oras ng pahinga dahil mahirap maglaro sa dilim at may multo, o baka makabunggo ka ng hindi mo nakikita, o kaya ma-duwende ka o mapagkatuwaan ng nuno…

Oo nga pala nag-kinder din ako, pero nung panahon namin, kahit dumeretso ka ng grade one ok lang… unlike today kailangan mag kinder ka talaga… nung kinder kami ang ginagawa lang namin the whole day e… magbasa ata, tapos kakanta kami ata, tapos kakain ng chichirya o kung ano pa man… nagbilang din kami, oo tama… sa lahat naman kasi ng bagay sa kinder na naaalala ko e yung United Nations Day… ang bandila ko nun e yung kulay sky blue ang background at may five pointed star na puti sa gitna, yep! Kung kabisado mo ang mga bandila sa mundo o yun din ang flag mo nung minsan na nag United Nations Parade ang school nyo, tama ka! Somalia ang country na yun, hindi ko alam kung ano ang national costume ng Somalia pero naka-amerikana ako nun… Ang sumunod na memory ko nun e yung grumaduate na ako ng Kinder, merong spaghetti sa bahay! At yung kapit bahay naming na nagtitinda dati ng gulay ay binigyan ako ng twenty pesos. Hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi ako masyadong masaya noon, o hindi ko lang siguro na-gets yung graduation…

Ok, practically we have graduated kinder… next stop the long windings of gradeschool… hmm, I wonder how many more weeks, months even until we catch up with the present times… im eager to tell you about that as well, but I just enjoy these flashbacks… woou!

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Whats the Fuzzz!

Ei yo! nagtataka lang ako kung ano ba ang fuzz with these blogs blogs... Mga tao talaga... but its quite liberating getting all of these feelings out... well eniweys, what is odd is you are here and reading my insights about life... there are lots of these to come yeah... hopefully... as long as i have decent internet connection we will all be fine = )